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frienclzone:

choking on water is the worst because how do you stop choking? drink something? well ive got some bad news for you

spookyhella:

casually call people “human” to unsettle them and make them question what sort of being you are

communistbakery:

local teen found dead after friends convince him to jump off a dock. after jumping, the dock collapsed, crushing him. sources say that his death was a result of pier pressure

basedgosh:

*batman voice* does anyone have a cough drop

pajamaben:

"Billy where is your homework?"

"im sorry Ms. Klein my dog- *sees dog in the window make a throat cutting motion* -gone cat ate it”

suzysils:

I think I’m going to write a book called “‘Four Hours Is Definitely Enough Sleep’ And Other Lies I Tell Myself”